Today I stepped back into KCBC (Knoxville Comprehensive Breast Center) to support a friend having a lump checked. It was a CYST and thank the Lord for that news! I am totally against this place based on my experience there but I was so happy to see the explanation of the mammogram and the ultra sound for her. They still take forever to process you but at least no one left her on a table for hours without a doctor ever coming in to explain jack (first visit for me in 2009). Nor did a doctor walk in to say, "I'm sure you know you have cancer but we are going to do a biopsy today to confirm." (follow up visit when the boob got worse)
HELLO???? Who walks in and says you have cancer when the only mention of any cancer was as I left the first time and the nurse said they needed to rule out Inflammatory Breast Cancer. She gave me a prescription and said to call if it got worse. I had been there for over four hours with no communication on why I was still in a room. They kept repeating the ultrasound and not a doctor one walked in to talk to me like my friend's experience was today.
It is a beautiful building. The colors soothing. The waiting room massive. The staff brisk, efficient, and smiling. The Christmas tree was stunning. The coffee pot was empty but someone quickly took care of that when I told her it was out.
I knew the process. They take you in a room, give you a fancy robe, supply wipes to remove any lotion or deodorant, and provide you with a locker for your clothes. Next you will go to a waiting room for the mammogram then be escorted to another waiting room before your final room with an ultrasound. I don't know if they do ultrasounds on every patient or just when there is a lump.
When one of the smiling escorts came to get me to join her for this part, I could remember the pictures I took of the fancy glass, the soothing blue/teal walls, and the fancy dressing room in 2009. It's all still there and beautiful it truly is. I also remembered the frustrations of being left in a room for hours. My stomach growling because my normal place was more of an in and out place. I had not eaten breakfast or lunch not realizing I had scheduled at a different facility. The lump and the changes in my breast were staring to worry me so I stuck it out there.
I remembered my second visit when I walked past the room. The cold voice of a very unsympathetic doctor. The warm concern in the nurses voice when she walked in to my bawling my eyes out. My phone was dead. It was just a follow-up. There was no way I had cancer. My first mammogram was at age twenty-eight. I was past forty now. I had numerous ones mammograms over the years. Early detection saves lives. Right? How could they even think I had cancer? And where were the bedside manners? I won't forget the female doctor's voice, her tone, or cold, impersonal attitude. And I hated the pretty building, the fancy carpet, the soothing colors, and the whole drawn out process of ten to fifteen minute scan. I wanted to run from this place and never look back.
But the nurse was kind. She asked if anyone was with me or if she could call someone. And she wrapped me in a hug full of compassion and replaced some of the comfort the cold doctor had stripped away with her words. She explained the biopsy process, told me not to worry too much, and they would rush the test. I would know very soon. It was a nightmare.
That was seven years ago. I received the call to return to the office on 12/3/09. I remember telling a different nurse that I had to work. She said no that I had to come in and see the surgeon. I went back to this facility on 12/4/09 to find out that I did have cancer.
I have no idea what the surgeon said. I do remember my primary care doctor calling to leave me a voicemail as we were leaving. I remember my friend that went with me talking to people, gathering information, and the flurry of appointments began. I also remember that this side of the facility had a different vibe. There was warmth, caring, concern, and laughter when I joked. I believe I went back to KCBC a few more times to see the surgeon. He put in my port and fixed it when it flipped. His nurses were awesome and if I had opted for surgery I know he would have done a great job.
When I drove up to the building today, I wondered how I would feel. I still think it is beautiful. I still think there process is too long but I was glad to see that my friend got better treatment. There was extensive explanations of how the mammograms work, what they can tell, and why the ultrasound would reveal more. I was glad it wasn't the cold hearted doctor. This was a woman that cared and did not make you feel rushed. I was glad it was a cyst.
I was glad that I am still here to walk into the same place, almost seven years to the date, to get my biopsy results. It doesn't feel like seven years. And today this place did not have bad memories. I was actually happy to be there and have the time to simply be thankful that I'm still here.
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